


Pacific

by Aamu16



Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga), 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Genre: Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Given Film Spoilers, M/M, Not Beta Read, Soukoku | Double Black (Bungou Stray Dogs), The Author Regrets Nothing, Ugetsu is Dazai and you can't tell me otherwise, given manga spoilers, we die like Yuki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:47:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27579365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aamu16/pseuds/Aamu16
Summary: Ugetsu doesn't like to go on dates by the sea (yes, it has everything to do with those dreams).
Relationships: Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Kaji Akihiko/Murata Ugetsu
Comments: 1
Kudos: 27
Collections: Identity Crisis





	Pacific

**Author's Note:**

> In case you want to cry some more: Song recommended "Ocean Eyes" by Billie Eilish.

Ugetsu dreamt often, of blue eyes and ginger curls. It was nothing of note since it was always at the back of his head while awake. The ocean sounded like a voice, and his tongue tasted like salt and iron in them, quite a bit like blood and ash. It tasted like desperation and helplessness and everything those war-photographers showed in their works (he never liked to go to art galleries when they were doing exhibitions). Sometimes he wondered if it had anything to do with past lives or some kind of religious experience, but he had never been a great believer nor a religious person, it was more from hearing the girls in high school than anything. He stopped wondering after getting together with Akihito.

  
And after... well, he wasn't curious, not as much as he had before he started playing the violin for a living, but he felt an old ache in his chest when he went to sea, so he didn't.

Aki had tried to get him there once on a date in a very nice café with a terrace to sit and look at the Pacific Ocean, but while there walking on the sand and holding Aki's hand felt like it physically hurt him. But it wasn't because it was _Akihito_. But because he was _holding hands_ with whatever date that had dragged him there. And there had been a few cases, seems like it was romantic and all, to have dates by the sea.

  
When he broke up with Akihito the first time, he dreamt of black ~~corrupted~~ skin. That night had been a nightmare. All he could taste was blood, it was hot, it was suffocating and despair left his heart in tatters. At the end of the nightmare, he had seen matted ginger hair and a body with blackened limns lying ~~dead~~ on his arms; it felt wrong, it wasn't supposed to end like this. The petite figure in his arms should have been bickering with him, his dog wasn't supposed to lie still. Yet he did. Still, cold, unmoving. Ugetsu woke up screaming and his eyes full of tears.

  
That was one of the reasons he hadn't completely given up on Akihito. He liked him, sure, a lot. But it also felt like he was a protecting amulet against those dreams. No matter how cruel it sounded, Ugetsu liked his sanity, liked Aki. But there were also times when he was too tired to even dream, or that he was satisfied with whoever night-stand he had brought into their bed but woke up feeling guilty a bit nauseous. Those, he blamed on Akihito.

  
Then the day Akihito and he actually broke up came.

  
Ugetsu feared the night. ' _Really, now, couldn't he have waited to tell me in the morning?_ ' Ugetsu thought as he wandered aimlessly around, trying to tire himself to sleep. In the wee hours of the morning, he finally sat down on some building doorstep, too tired to even worry about nightmares of burning cities and dead ~~lovers~~ dogs. He slept like he hadn't in years until a loud and rattling sound of metal falling and an angry ~~beloved~~ voice swearing woke him up. The sky was still waking up and painting itself in pink and yellow, a soft dove gray tailing in between silver linings, the birds were up and Ugetsu took a minute or two to remember what was he doing sleeping on the doorstep of what looked like a bakery (if the sign over the door was to be believed). Soon his thoughts were interrupted by a voice that reminded him of the ocean, calling him.

  
"What the hell, a vagabond?"

  
Ugetsu looked up and was greeted with a shock of ginger curls and blue eyes.

**Author's Note:**

> Ugetsu is fake Dazai and you can't convince me otherwise.


End file.
